We spent the day together after school. When we got to Nicks house one day, my mom called my cell. She just wanted to say hello and see what my plans were for the day. Scott went through the roof. He was so mad that she called and ruined "our time". He said that when I went home, that was my time with my family. Now was time with him. He refused to speak to me for an hour. Then he told me I had to get my mother to understand that she wasn't to call unless it was an emergency. He got up and walked out the door. I followed.
He got in my car and turned the engine on. I had just enough time to hop in before the took off down the street. He wouldn't tell me where we were going. We ended up in front of Steven’s house. He told me to stay in the car while he went in. He was gone for a long time. I was too afraid to get out of the car and go up to the door because he told me not to. I called Steven’s house from my phone. Scott answered. "I'll be out in a minute!" 15 minutes later he emerged from the house. When he got in he told me that I had to smoke this weed with him if I wanted him to be nice to me. He said it was the only thing that would but him in a good mood. He pulled out a pinch hitter and packed it. We arrived at a park near Nick's house. He took a big hit and passed it to me. I took a hit as well.
That became routine. We had sex, smoked a cigarette, something would piss him off and then he would force me to smoke weed. It happened almost every day. One day while Scott and I were watching a movie in his room, Juan called. I was panic stricken. Scott saw the name on my phone and answered it. He got into a screaming match with Juan. Then he handed the phone to me. He told me to tell Juan that I was happily in love with Scott and that I didn't want anything to do with a freak. When I got off the phone, Scott started screaming at me. He was mad all over again for what had happened so long ago. He pushed me against the wall, and my head hit hard. When he realized what he did, he punched the wall and ran outside. I followed him. It was raining. He said that he was going to kill himself for pushing me and that I needed to be with someone else. Someone who was a cheater like me. Danny’s house was nearby so he took off towards it. I followed him trying to get him back in the house. He stopped across the street from Danny’s house. The wind whipped his wet hair around. "DANNY!" he screamed over and over. I was afraid someone would hear. I fell to the ground and begged him to come back to Nick’s house. Finally, he turned and walked away. I followed. We went back to Nick’s. When we got there, he told me that he still had the noose on the roof of The Pod and that he was going to go kill himself. He told me that he was going to carve my name into his chest so when the cops found him, they would know it would be my fault. Before he could reach them, I took the keys from my car. I got in the drivers seat and told him that I couldn't handle him anymore. The window was rolled down and as soon as I started the car, Scott reached in to try to get me. I fought him off and then he grabbed a handful of my hair. He pulled me out through the window and started carrying me down the street. I kicked and screamed as loud as I could. A neighbor stepped out and said that she had called the cops. Scott told me to calm down. "We have to get out of here," he said. We walked back and got in my car. We drove away and he apologised over and over.
He was so hurt and angry with himself that my heart melted. I hugged him and told him everything would be okay.
That night when I got home, he called me. He had changed again. I spent an hour on the phone listening to him call me names. I could barely breathe. My eyes and throat were swollen from crying. He told me if I loved him then I should get him help. He said he couldn't afford psychiatry so I was going to have to live with him treating me this way. When I hung up, I told my mom that we both needed help. She made a list of free clinics that staffed therapists. I told her that I was afraid to be at home. I wanted to be locked away somewhere I would be safe from myself. She called The Pavillion, a mental health hospital. She made an appointment for me to check in and stay for a while. Before we went there, we stopped at Nick’s to give Scott the list of clinics. My mom handed him the list and he threw it on the ground. I told him I was leaving. That he had driven me to a point that I felt unsafe from myself. He begged me not to go. He said we would work on our problems together. I believed him, and I didn't go.
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